Next Time, Just Stick Your Leg Out

On the phone yesterday with my grandfather. I swear, I make none of this up.

K: You got me into trouble.

Dad-Dad: I did? How?

K: I told you we were coming down this weekend when I called last week. You just asked Mom when we were next coming down.

DD: You're coming this weekend?

K: Sunday

DD: Oh great. Hey, when you do, don't get any more tickets speeding on the off ramps.

K (wearily): For the record, I've never gotten a ticket on any kind of ramp.

DD: No? Really?

K: Yes, really. I haven't had a any tickets in 6 or 7 years.

DD: You haven't?

K: Hey! Don't sound so surprised. That's not too shabby considering all the driving I do.

DD: That's true. So, no tickets?

K: No. Well, okay, I got a parking ticket in New Hope this past spring, but that was because they lied. The sign says you don't have to pay the meter for the handicap spot, but they mean you don't have to refill the meter if it runs out.

DD: Did you tell them that?

K: I did. I marched right into the police station that I was parked in front of and told them all about it.

DD: So you got a ticket but it was their fault.

K: Exactly.

DD: That happened to your aunt when she took me for my MRI today. She paid the ticket ahead of time, got it stamped "$3 paid" and everything. And then when we were leaving, the person asked her for $3.

K: But she'd already paid it?

DD: Yeah. They said that's why it didn't cost $7.

K: Wait a minute. I thought we were taking you for your MRI.

DD: Yeah! I thought so too! I went out to the curb this morning to wait for you, but you didn't come.

K (puzzled): What? You were at the curb?

DD: I was looking for you. You didn't come to the door and it was getting late, so I decided to wait at the curb, but you never showed up. Good thing your Aunt Jean was driving by. She swung over and picked me up.

K: She was just driving by?

DD: She was flying by and I had to flag her down. I took off my sweater, you know, my yellow sweater, I took it off and started waving it over my head to catch her attention.

K (laughing): That didn't hurt your arm?

DD: Nah. I stuck it on the end of my cane and started waving it around.

K: Next time you should just stick your leg out. That'll bring the entire street to a screeching halt.

DD (laughing): Yeah, okay.

K: So you got a ride then. That's good. When I overslept this morning I figured you could just hoof it to the hospital.

DD: I did! I was halfway down Bells Mill Road when Jean caught up with me.

K: That's what I'm saying! What, was your exam in center city at Jefferson?

DD: No. It was at Chestnut Hill.

K: Oh, come on! You could have walked that easy!

DD: I know! I probably would've needed a new rubber tip for my cane, though.

K: That road is so full of pot holes, anything your cane could've made wouldn't have mattered.

DD (laughing): I guess not.

K (laughing): You stinker.

DD: Yeah. So I'll see you Sunday afternoon.

K: Yep. Ticket free.

DD: Drive careful, hon.