Because I thought I may have seen there a peach

Hello my blog. Have you missed me? (I didn't think so.)

I missed you. Sort of. I thought I'd miss a place to write down – sometimes exhaustively – my thoughts on whatever, but since I have Facebook now, I do that in 140 characters or less instead. Efficiency, thy name is social networking.

Well, it's resolution time and I should resolve to maintain this blog more consistently, life crises or no. I should resolve to do this and that as well but all these resolutions, while well intentioned, will eventually go the way of the dodo for one simple reason.

I am a pisser.

That's right, ladies and gents, I am a first class pisser. If given a deadline or a resolution or a goal, I guarandangtee you that I will absolutely not achieve it – just because it is there.

See? Pisser.

Sadly, this state of pissiness only has one casualty – me. Pretty much no one else is affected or frankly gives a good overall damn. (The ever present exception to the rule are those who have given me the deadline and consequently, are awaiting delivery. Of something.)

So I have decided not to resolve, not to vow, not to promise or swear, but to unfailing do one thing this year.

I will finish the damn book!

Amen.

Postscript: Curious about the title? I know you are. Thank my beloved West Wing and the awesome Ainsley Hayes. Or click on this clip. I may not agree with the politics – I really don't know, I try not to pay attention to them mostly – but I do love a good set down. You go girl.

Resolutionless

I don't make New Year resolutions. To me, it's just another way of listing things that will never get done. I'm perverse enough that making a list almost assures the failure of achieving anything on the list simply because there is a list.

Get that?

I also don't set "goals" as a pansy-assed way of avoiding the word "resolution". Do it or don't do it, but don't wimp out on the terminology. I have some things in mind that I would like to see happen in 2009, but I won't handicap their chances by sticking them on some sort of list. Look, it works for some people. I'm not some people.

Basically, making it to the next year fully intact is challenging enough of a resolution for me. I think of my friend Jane's resolutions and realize that this mind-set of mine is far from positive, but it's nearly 7 pm on my last night of a disappointing vacation, so I'm going to just wallow in my mediocrity for a moment and resolve to be more positive tomorrow. Don't defriend me yet, Jane.

Ugh, I said it.

I guess, if anything, I can resolve to be more me in 2009. "Is't possible?" you may ask. One shudders to think. But I valiantly resolve to be more of a survivor, more of a good time - not that way, you pervs! (okay, maybe a little) - more committed to the things that matter to me, and less negative about those things I can't control even though they are few and far between (kidding! sort of). I promise to be more snarky, use bigger words (if I can find them), and radically obliterate preconceptions and limitations relating to my size, my income, my brain, my faith, or my hair color (though I'm not a blond, so half the battle there is already won). A good enough start to any year.

How do you like me so far?