Eating Soup With a Fork

Seriously, what is the deal with soup? I was trying to greet/punch/roundhouse kick my rainy, clammy, post-snow storm, pre-second snow storm, craptastic Wednesday with some Healthy Request Grilled Chicken and Sausage Gumbo. And it just wasn't working. I enjoyed the saltines I scrounged from my boss more than the soup.

I bought this soup with the hope of circumventing my aversion to vegetables by tricking my taste buds with sausage and chicken and swallowing the peppers, tomatoes, and whatever else they stick in there down before my body realized what it was eating. Yet another twisted attempt to add something healthy to my sadly lacking diet because the surgeon general and every other freaking do-gooder out there tells me that eating vegetables is good for my health.

Nosy gits.

Frankly, if there was more than two pieces of chicken in that bowl, I'll eat my wimpy-assed, plastic fork. It's enough that I had to scrounge around the peppers and whatnot to search for any sausage (ergo the fork). Also, spicy! Which I guess explains the gumbo aspect of its name.

No, I did not begin my lunch in this frame of mind. I genuinely planned to eat all the soup, with a spoon no less, scraping the bottom of the bowl figuratively as well as literally. I reasoned that the sausage and grilled "chicken" would add some protein. I imagined triumphantly telling nay sayers and friends who smile indulgently and shake their heads at me when I pick veggies off of items or ask waiters to make changes to the entrée to avoid the taste-reducing fiends, how I conquered a bowl of soup chock full of the little buggers. But alas, instead I've got one more reason why the lot of you are frickin' nuts for eating the revolting things in the first place.

I'm sticking with Chicken Noodle.