Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Not Polish for Nothin'

Summer has slammed into New Jersey like damn and wow with all three Hs - hazy, hot, and humid - in full account. All I have to do is take one step out of my personal wind tunnel created by cross-posted fans and I'm awash in a perpetual coating of sweat. Lovely.
It's better in October!

Thus I enter the hair dryer-free portion of my calendar year when I pin up my bangs and roll down my windows and let nature and 75 mph on route 287 dry my hair for me instead. But the rest of me still has to get out of the apartment in a reasonably presentable state for the day job.

Yesterday morning, I grabbed my necklace and sandals and immediately plopped myself in the wind tunnel to cool down from that massive exertion. Needing both hands for sandal wrangling, I put the necklace on the bed behind me. I mean, how far could it go?

Pretty dang far, because the irksome thing vanished. Poof! Like some pissed off brownie swept in and snatched it. Honestly, I was so baffled, I spent about .5 of a second seriously considering that possibility. Hollis, perched on the end of the bed purring as she does during my morning ablutions (how did I wind up with a morning cat?!), couldn't be bothered to care, though she was not happy when I shifted her to see if perhaps her ample belly had smothered my necklace when I wasn't looking.

Commence ten frustrated, increasingly sweaty minutes of looking for the stupid thing. I had to decamp without it as I needed to hit the grocery store on my way in to the office for the week's provisions. I went to the store, got to the day job, and proceeded through my morning set up routine. En route to the office kitchen to toast my bagel, I felt something dangling down my leg.

Yup, it was my necklace, which had managed to hook itself on and around the button of my trouser pocket. The back pocket. On my butt cheek.

This means that I sat on it whilst driving, walked around the store with it dangling from my rear, and ditto during the long walk from my car to my desk.

I am not Polish for nothin'.

My boss bravely performed de-butting duties, laughing like a loon all the while. When relaying this story to my friend, she stopped me to point out that somewhere along the way, I'd also lost an earring! (Later found on the floor of my office.) If ever there was a day a should've stayed in bed...

Maybe this is the beginning of a new jewelry line - charms and jewels to adorned the buttocks. Dangling chains to shape and accentuate the gluteus maximus. 'Cause that's the part of my anatomy to which I really want to call attention!

I ended up in the office kitchen guffawing as my bagel toasted, wondering what the rest of my day would bring, how it would ever top this, and whether I'd survive if it did.

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Social Media Links and Tips

This past Saturday, I had the pleasure of converting my organically grown know how of social media into a workshop and delivering it to my local RWA chapter, the New Jersey Romance Writer's of America. No one threw tomatoes or called me a fraud, so result!
I promised to provide them the links I showcased during the presentation. But should they alone have all the fun and brain-aneurysm inducing infodump?
Perish the thought.
Below are listed a few places to find some of the tips and information from publishing professionals that helped guide me to be the social media goddess of all I survey that I am today. OK, so maybe just a demigod. All right, fine, compared with these people, I'm barely a sidekick, but even the sidekick gets a showcase episode once and a while.
A broad tip of the fashionable hat to author Caridad Pineiro for leading me to some of these links in the first place. She absolutely has her own chair in the social media pantheon.

Links to Social Media Tips for Writers

Pinterest: 13 Things Writers Should Know by Rachelle Gardner, agent


Ten Things I Wish Authors Knew About Twitter by Angela James, Carina Press Executive Editor

Who to Follow?

Here are several places to find the handles of publishing peeps who you may wish to follow on Twitter grouped by categories.


Literary Agents:

Digital Publishing List:

Twitter Book Trade Directory

Good Twitter Hashtags to Follow


Feel free to add your own social media suggestions and recommendations in the comments below.