Two of a Kind

K: So, How you doin'?

Dad-Dad: OK. How are YOU doing?

K: OK. Why?

DD: Your aunt's being trying to reach you. She kept calling all day Labor Day. She was here and must have called you half a dozen times.

K: We were at a barbecue.

DD: Oh.

K: I left my phone in the car.

DD: Uh huh.

K: [sigh] I talked to her yesterday.

DD: Yeah? Well that's good. So, everything's okay?

K: Pretty much. My knee went out this morning. Totally random.

DD: Oh, no. Mine does that too. I can't turn left easily anymore without stumbling.

K: Well, if you used your cane, it would probably help with that.

DD: Cane slows me down.

K: It might be worth it to give your knee some support. Maybe it takes an extra few minutes to get down the hall, but your knee will thank you for it.

DD: Ah, it hurts my arm to use it.

K: Your arm will get used to it. You need to build up the muscle. Go down to the gym and lift some weights.

DD: Hey, I do 30 minutes on the treadmill three times a week.

K: Yeah, but that's your legs, not your arms.

DD: Oh. I do the chest press for them.

K: That's good. What about bicep curls?

DD: Oh, no. I can't do those.

K: OK, what about arm lifts? Lifting your arms up above your head?

DD: Oh, yeah, I do those when I'm sleeping.

K: [pause while visualizing] You do arm lifts in your sleep?

DD: Yeah.

K: [pause again] How do you know you do them if you're asleep?

DD: 'Cause I dream of it.

K: Just cause you're dreaming it doesn't mean you're actually doing it.

DD: Yeah it does.

K: How do you know? You're asleep!

DD: 'Cause I'm tired when I wake up.

K: [incredulously] From doing arm lifts?

DD: Oh yeah. Last week I dreamt I was in the Boston Marathon and I could hardly get out of bed.

K: laughing

DD: I came in second.

K: [still laughing] Who came in first?

DD: A black woman from Jamaica.

[Two-minute pause while both laugh]

DD: Hey, were you driving a truck the other day?

K: A truck?

DD: Yeah. A sand truck.

K: No. Why?

DD: A truck turned over up there speeding up the on ramp. Dumped sand all over the ramp.

K: Where?

DD: Up there. Warick, Wardwick, Walwick...

K: Waldwick?

DD: Yeah.

K: That's where I live, but I didn't hear of anything. There was a truck overturned on the ramp from 287N to 80W yesterday, but that was it.

DD: You weren't driving a sand truck?

K: Wasn't me, no sir, no way.

DD: You sure?

K: Pretty sure. See? I'm not the only one who does 90 mph on the on-ramps.

DD: Guess not.

K: We have a club.

DD: [laughing] Oh yeah?

K: We meet once a month and have races on on-ramps.

DD: How 'bout that.