Smorgasbord

I came across a few things that made me happy this week, so I thought I'd share.

Erin Go Bragh
St Patrick's Day is right around the corner and while ranking as one of my favorite non-holiday holidays of the the year, I'm greeting it rather tamely this year due to scheduling stuff, responsibilities elsewhere, and my still-not-up-
to-snuff bad back. It's also a little weird having it merely 4 days before Good Friday and 6 days before Easter.

sidebar: How frickin' early is Easter this year?! At this rate, we'll have it in February next year. I mean, Good Friday is only the day after the First Day of Spring. That's weird. I've hardly had any time to get into the Easter swing, though I have been indulging in more than a few Cadbury Eggs and Mini Eggs, cause Easter candy is the ultimate. end of sidebar.

While my lack of St. Patrick's Day plans may be pitiful (though my green feather boa will be prominent that day), I have had a good laugh while on the Get Irish Now Web site, where the Irish Spring people let you create your own Irish personae - you can even upload a picture of yourself to include in the image. I avoid all pictures of myself these days, but had fun with their substitute images. I even came up with a limerick to go along with it, included here for your own Irish guffaw (and with the caveat that I am a lousy limerick writer.)

There once was a girl from New Jersey
Who knew just enough to be nervy
She went down the pub
To seduce some poor schlub
And learned that most men are just pervy

I did warn you about my limerick flaws.
You should see me attempt haiku. It's not pretty.
I invite your superior limerick attempts in the comments.

Not Really in Distress
Have you ever been watching a film or TV show and moaned over the idiocy of the hero, heroine, or villain? Ever screamed at the screen "Pick up the gun you fool!" or "Call the damn cops already," or "Dude, haven't you read your own press? Wooden stake!!" or "Why are you still talking? Would you please just shoot that bastard?!"

No? Just me? Weird.

So I enjoyed the Things I Will Do If I Am Ever the Vampire link via the Smart Bitches. What kind of movie/story would it be if the vampires caught on and just figured it all out already? No wooden furniture, check. Well stocked gun rack, check. Shoot first; do not engage in hand-to-hand combat, check.

Eh - it'd probably be pretty short and boring.

Favorites? #30: A Kevlar vest with a ceramic trauma plate located over the heart is a rather trendy fashion accessory. Like, duh. And #31: I will take seriously anyone who approaches me with a water pistol and a confident expression. Because my mother used to use water pistols as a conflict resolution tool in our house. And not just on the cats.

I've been wondering what other THINGS I WILL DO lists I can come up with. I don't seem to be getting very far...

THINGS I WILL DO IF I AM EVER A POP STAR
1. Always wear panties.
2. Always carry spare panties, just in case I forget rule #1
3. Require 10 day waiting period on all potential boyfriends.
4. Refuse to let my mother share my closet.

THINGS I WILL DO IF EVERY TRAPPED ON AN ISLAND AFTER A PLANE CRASH
1. Make sure I always get a gun
2. Realize that surgeons have God/Saviour complexes and aren't worth the effort. Plus they usually stray to the nearest blond.
3. Accept that con men can make you think they might be a god (which could be worth it), and are much more fun than surgeons anyway.
4. Never push any buttons
5. Always go on the hikes

Lame, I know. But diverting.

Purrfect
Not too long ago, an e-mail went the rounds that included the animated Wake up cat. I got it from at least three people and loved it every time. Well, the same animator is at it again with Let Me In!, which is awesome. If you've ever had a cat (or child) that begged you for something and then deigned to comply when you finally got it for them, you can relate.