There’s a Patch for That

On the phone with my grandfather.

K: You bought me lunch today.

Dad-dad: That was nice of me.

K: I thought so. So I decided to call so we could have lunch together.

DD: Good idea. What did I get you?

K: Smoked turkey and cheddar on wheat with horseradish.

DD: Wow. Sounds good. Smoked turkey?

K: Yeah.

DD: They say that isn't good for your lungs.

K: It's OK. I have a patch.

DD: (chuckling) Of course you do.

K: Actually, it's mesquite turkey.

DD: Mosquito turkey?

K: (pause) Yeah. They put mosquitoes all over the turkey.

DD: Bet they suck all the blood from it.

K: Yep. Gets them all nice and plump. Those mosquitoes are a meal in themselves.

DD: (pause) This is a very intelligent phone conversation were having.

K and DD laughing.

DD: We're having Chicken Marsala for dinner.

K: That's good.

DD: Not really.

K: Oh. Sorry. Do they at least defeather it first?

DD: Not usually. But at least it's not a muted turkey.

KK: Muted?

DD: No drumsticks.

K: You're right; this is an intelligent conversation we're having.

DD: Told ya.

K: Well, enjoy the Chicken Marsala. Try not to choke on the feathers.

DD: OK. You try not to do 70 on the on ramps.

K: Where's the fun in that?